Dear Kidless Friends

Dear Kid-less friends,

I miss you. We don't hang out as often as we said we would, things are different now I know. You have your life, and I have mine. We make plans all the time, but one way or another someone always cancels.  

It's not your fault that you don't know how much effort it really takes us to physically get out the door. You don't know what it's like having a person depend on you for literally everything. Leaving the comfort of our home is so difficult. Imagine it like going to spend the night at someone else's house, only this is just for a trip down the street to the grocery store. Anything could happen, and I mean anything. Explosive diarrhea, only happens when you're the least prepared I promise you that. Usually on your way to somewhere not from. Babies are the reason Murphy's Law was invented.

Now you know the effort it takes. Now imagine you've made all this effort, finally put a shirt that doesn't have throw-up on it, and real pants, not yoga pants (!) and you're sitting in a restaurant that's a completely new environment for the baby and she has a sensory overload. The minute the baby starts to cry you get dirty looks from everyone around you. For some reason, babies can't be babies in public only at home.  Not only do I look like a teen mom because I was blessed with the skin of a 5-year-old (God forbid I walk out of the house without makeup) you feel judged. Like you don't know what you're doing. Like maybe you should have just stayed home. 

5 minutes later you get a text message saying, "Sorry I can't make it."

The first time it happens you're like ok, I guess I can enjoy myself I mean I did put makeup on, might as well not let it go to waste. The third time I guess I should just stop inviting you places, or just stop making the effort. Why should I be the one making the effort when you haven't even made the effort to see my baby in person. She's 6 almost 7 months and you still have not met her. That hurts but whatever my fault for deluding myself into thinking I still had any real friends. 

If you have that one friend who is the first friend to have a baby, know that it's easier for you to make the effort to go and see her than have her come to you. Know that it's scary and sometimes overwhelming going outside of the safety of your own home with a baby. Be considerate. 

Sincerely, 

New Mom in a New Era