#TBT: Tales of a Pale Chicana 2

Since it is throwback Thursday I decided why not make Tale of a Pale Chicana a series? My first post did so well I though hey why not give you guys more! Plus it's a cool way for you guys to get to know my life story. 


/CHiˈkänə,SHi-/  noun US noun: Chicana; plural noun: Chicanas
(in North America) a woman or girl of Mexican origin or descent.

Food + Me = Happiness

 Part of the hispanic culture revolves around food. All of my happy memories were around a table of people eating & laughing. Recipes passed down from generation to generation filled with love, grease, flour, and cheese. So it probably comes to no surprise to you that all my life I struggled with my weight. 

I was never really bullied because of my weight it was just something I myself was so concerned with. I was never into sports and always focused on school & literally always had my head in a book. When times got tough or too much to handle food would always make it better. 

That's what I link my weight struggle with, wanting to be happy when things got tough or too stressful. I didn't realize I had this unhealthy habbit until I my first psychology class. We had to write weekly journals on a topic that related to something we read in the text book that week. 

It made me realize a little too much about myself. Things I would have never known to work on. Things like my sense of abandonment and my inability to trust people stems from my biological dad leaving and lying and sleeping around while we were in his care. He had this revolving door with women that made it a little hard for me to trust men in general. But that's a whole other story in itself. 

Once Upon a Time I hated Pictures 

This has to be my most dreaded picture. Not only because I think this was the heaviest I had reached in my childhood but it also reminds me of softball. I played for like a season, but I was in a group of girls that had played since they could walk. They new the coach and the coach new them, I was the intruder and never really learned how to play because the coach was more into training them than me. At the same time I never really knew how to ask for help. I can't remember once speaking up and actually asking for help. I just didn't have the confidence.

In Highschool I built up my confidence but it was easy because I knew everyone I had the time to get comfortable with being myself around them. I knew no one would judge me. I also knew I was surrounded by so many people that believed in me, and support everything that I wanted to do. I guess that was just one of the many perks of only having 98 people in my graduating class. 

Isolated & Lost it all 

 By all I meant the weight! I graduated High School & went straight to Basic Training. It was the craziest and scariest experience of my life. I was also in the best shape of my life. It was amazing, away from all the crap food I used to put in my body, but it was the environment I was in. I didn't have the choice to not drink water all day and every day. I didn't have the distractions I have in the real world. I focused on myself, getting fit, and my relationship with God.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically that was the best I had ever been. 

It's super weird to look at these pictures lol it feels like a lifetime ago.
Also please excuse the ugly instagram filters!

I lost almost 40 pounds that year!

 Now that I'm almost 10 months postpartum it's the hardest thing for me to loose the weight I gained. Only because I'm not taking care of myself the way I should be. Taking this look back really puts into perspective what I should be doing based on the things that I have gone through and experienced. I need to get myself back on track! 

What do you do when you're feeling down?